The F.O.R.C.E strikes back

Its been 2 months since the last time I pen down. How are you all, fellow readers! Just barely two months, APCO hired a few engineers... fresh grads ada, headhuntered pun ada... After a year of working, finally I got adapted to Penang, mainly because of the colleagues whom I always hang out with.. esp now when the badge which graduated from local university.. they are my age.
Tina officially left APCO today. Her leaving actually prompt alot of questions in my mind. I have always think of leaving...am always the first one to say that I am leaving soon..but now.. I am still here.. Do I want to leave?
Reasons not to leave:

• Boss treated me fairly, at least paid attention to what I said.
• Newly known colleagues are nice and can mix together.
• New rented place is cooling and nice (they have washing machine!)
• My long distance missingness illness has already been healed.

Reasons to leave:

• The only thing that really concerns me is my ability in coding. I only know how to seek help but have not really try hard enough.
• Chooi Yen.

Sigh. God, am i suppose to be in the field? Is it 2 years that you want me here? My relationship with you is very very rocky... How? Found a new church to attend. EPCC. vibrant church, young pastor. Maybe because I am not disciplined enuf. -sigh-

But anyhow, God i won't let you go from me.. never... Jesus, I love you.

F = Fruitfulness - Hosea 14:8 O Ephraim, what more have I [a] to do with idols? I will answer him and care for him. I am like a green pine tree; your fruitfulness comes from me (NIV)